Top Ten Books I’ll Never Read

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

George R.R. Martin

Oh, hell. I feel like this is a bad list to make, and probably one that will come back to haunt me. Still. The Show Must Go On.

  1. Fifty Shades of Grey – E.L. James. I’m, like, 99.9999% sure on this one. It doesn’t appeal to me.
  2. Closing Time – Joseph Heller. I really didn’t like Catch-22, so I can’t see myself reading the sequel any time soon.
  3. Silverthorn – Raymond E. Feist. Magician made me ragey and was really, really bad anyway, so…yeah. Another discounted sequel.
  4. Lost in a Good Book – Jasper Fforde. Okay, yes, yet another sequel. The Eyre Affair was the first book, if you’re really that interested.
  5. The History of Middle-earth – J.R.R. Tolkien. This sounds like heresy, I know, but, let’s face it, once you’ve read The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and The Silmarillion it’s basically the same story but worse. And I never want to be That Fan.
  6. Ender’s GameOrson Scott Card. Because Scott Card is a homophobe and who wants to give someone like that money?
  7. A Game of Thrones – George R.R. Martin. I’m informed that the writing is iffy at best, and I don’t enjoy reading high fantasy that much at the best of times. Which isn’t to say that I’ll stop watching the TV series. (Yes, normally I would read it first, but sometimes you just have to make exceptions, okay?)
  8. Finnegans Wake – James Joyce. I can do without all that impenetrable Modernist navel-gazing, thank you so very much.
  9. The Infinite Sea – Rick Yancey. The sequel to the frankly rage-inducing The 5th Wave. “But don’t you want to find out what happens to Hot Evan?” No, I emphatically do not.
  10. Who We Are – One Direction. Enough said, surely.

(The theme for this post was suggested by the Broke and the Bookish’s weekly meme Top Ten Tuesday.)

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