The Apprentice: Online Video Channels

“There’s nothing like stories on a windy night when folks have found a warm place in a cold world.”

Stephen King

(Happy Halloween, Constant Reader! This is unfortunately not a Halloween-themed post, unless you want to count the Almighty Lord Sugar as a monster. Sorry.)

You can just tell from the title of this one that it’s going to be a complete disaster. Because making online video – good online video that gets more than three views – is actually quite hard, and is almost certainly beyond the humourless talents of the average Apprentice candidate.

The teams this week were essentially aiming for views as opposed to any more financially-orientated goal, an interesting choice for The Apprentice since ALS is hardly a Youtube critic. And it kind of seems that he’s aiming for more complete control than ever before with this episode, as he appoints the PMs for both teams (Solomon the Biggest Geek in the World for Summit, and Business Graduate Ella Jade for Tenacity) and abuses his Slap Bet powers yet again in the boardroom.

I’m actually going to skip right to the boardroom Slap Bet fiasco, because the details of the online video task are simply too painful to recount. Suffice it to say that no member of either Summit or Tenacity should ever be let near a camera ever again.

So ALS decides to send not only Abrasive Stephen home, but also Sarah the Feminist and Business Graduate Ella Jade (who leaves literally begging ALS to give her another chance). This is all very well and good, and I’m sure it’s meant to up the tension or whatever, but actually it feels unfair. There are rules to this game, after all, and ALS has to keep them as well as the candidates. No one wants to watch a tyrant; it’s dull and it’s irritating if ALS can just fire people willy-nilly, with apparently no need for justification or due process. I’m inclined to ask what the point is of the whole thing.

I mean, they were all quite annoying, so I’m not exactly sorry that they’re gone. But I’d rather not see The Apprentice descend into anarchy, because it simply makes me want to punch ALS in his pimply face even more than I wanted to already.

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