Doctor Who: Death in Heaven; or, An Open Letter to Steven Moffat

“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old; age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn; at the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them.”

Laurence Binyon

Dear Mr. Moffat,

As a Whovian, blogger and general Person Who is Interested in Things, I have a number of suggestions for you, based on a viewing of Peter Capaldi’s first series as the Doctor, and especially of the final episode, Death in Heaven. And, because I am a thoughtful person, I have provided them for you in the shape of a handy cut-out-and-keep (or, alternatively, print-off-and-keep) List. Isn’t that nice of me?

  1. First off, a fairly easy one. Stop giving our favourite monsters stupid upgrades. Not only does it make you look stupid (and, to be honest, I think we could all live with that), it makes the show look stupid too.
  2. On a similar theme, can you please stop messing with beloved characters. It is not acceptable to kill off Lethbridge-Stewarts without drawing at least some attention to the fact. Nor should you attempt to bring them back from the dead.
  3. Please don’t try to write any more romantic relationships; you’re terrible at it. Just telling us that people are in love does not make it so. Can I also remind you that even Rory shot Amy when he got turned into a robot. And Rory and Amy were, like, a thousand times more believable than Clara and Danny.
  4. Doctor Who is a science fiction show, not a fantasy. Any and all scripts featuring voices from beyond the veil, Mary Poppins impersonations, reincarnation and the like should be summarily burned.
  5. It’s in shockingly poor taste to air an episode in which the dead are resurrected as evil Cybermen on the eve of Remembrance Sunday. Not cool, Mr. Moffat. Not cool at all.
  6. Read some science. Any science, really. GCSE physics will do.

I would, however, like to congratulate you on the wonderful shot of the dome of St Paul’s opening out to release hordes of Cybermen into the sky, which was my favourite part of the episode.

Pity about the Nethersphere, though. Can you use that again sometime?

If you do, I may even watch the next series.

Yours Whovianly,

The English Student

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