“Prepositions are the guardians of space and time.”
Catherynne Valente
I blatantly copied the idea for this post from Nemo at the Moonlight Library, so go visit there 🙂 The original quiz is at the Barnes and Noble blog – I’ll put the link in the Post Links menu on the right.
- You currently own more than 20 books. Umm…yes? Don’t most people?
- You currently own more than 50 books. Lots more.
- You currently own more than 100 books. Oh, come on. 100 books is small fry.
- You amassed so many books you switched to an ereader. NO NEVER IN LIFE.
- You read so much you have a ton of books AND an ereader. See above.
- You have a book-organization system no one else understands. Attempts to explain my book organisation system inevitably result in blank looks of confusion. “But can’t you just…?” NO I CAN’T.
- You’re currently reading more than one book. I used to do this, but it messes with my head too much. I like to inhabit one book at a time, unless I’m reading for university.
- You read every single day. Every. Single. Day. Without fail. I feel like I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t read every day.
- You’re reading a book right now, as you’re taking this book nerd quiz. No. Actually I’m watching the leaders’ debate on ITV and contemplating a drinking game: take a shot every time Ed Miliband says “I ask you at home…”
- Your essentials for leaving the house: wallet, phone, keys, and a book. I always have a book with me. They’re great for avoiding awkward situations and/or unwanted attention (nobody looks at a person reading), and there’s nothing like a hardback Harry Potter for fending off attackers. I imagine.Â
- You’ve pulled an all-nighter reading a book. What is this thing “all-nighter”? (I’m much too attached to my sleep to pull an all-nighter.)
- You did not regret it for a second and would do it again. See above.
- You’ve figured out how to incorporate books into your workout. I skip the workout all together. You can get much more reading done that way.
- You’ve declined invitations to social activities in order to stay home and read. Riddle me this: why go to a club and get yourself a massive hangover when you could attend Bilbo’s birthday party at no personal risk whatever? Why?
- You view vacation time as “catch up on reading” time. Ooh, yes. There is no guilt attached to reading in the holidays, and there always is during term time.
- You’ve sat in a bathtub full of tepid water with prune-y skin because you were engrossed in a book. I don’t really like reading in the bath – I don’t like getting my books wet.
- You’ve missed your stop on the bus or the train because you were engrossed in a book. No. I get majorly stressed about travelling so this is just not a thing.
- You’ve almost tripped over a pothole, sat on a bench with wet paint, walked into a telephone pole, or narrowly avoided other calamities because you were engrossed in a book. Erm…no? Is this a normal thing?
- You’ve laughed out loud in public while reading a book. Yes. In the airport. Best place to look suspicious.
- You’ve cried in public while reading a book (it’s okay, we won’t tell). Also yes. I finished The Book Thief on a ferry. Bad mistake. “I’ve got a cold….”
- You’re the one everyone goes to for book recommendations. I love being asked for book recommendations. It’s like, “yes, I am the Book Guru! Have a book prescription!” The Pragmatist just asked me for synopses for her book club, in fact.
- You take your role in recommending books very seriously and worry about what books your friends would enjoy. I take book recommendation very seriously. I pride myself on it, probably erroneously.
- Once you recommend a book to a friend, you keep bugging them about it. Depends on the person, but mainly yes.
- If your friend doesn’t like the book you recommended, you’re heartbroken. No, I just have an argument with them about it and then potentially sulk.
- And you judge them. A little bit. Absolutely.
- In fact, whenever you and a friend disagree about a book you secretly wonder what is wrong with them. Occasionally, yes…
- You’ve vowed to convert a nonreader into a reader. Quite recently, in fact.
- And you’ve succeeded. Not yet.
- You’ve attended book readings, launches, and signings. Sadly no. I’ve lived in rural backwaters for most of my life, which makes the whole literary attendance thing difficult.
- You own several signed books. Yes, though mostly by accident.
- You would recognize your favorite authors on the street. I would if they were alive. *sobs quietly*
- In fact, you have. Rural backwater. Favourite authors not alive. 2+2=4.
- If you could have dinner with anybody in the world, you’d choose your favorite writer. Hmm…possibly…but then maybe I’d choose someone I actually know, because what if you had dinner with your hero and then they were horrible?
- You own a first-edition book. Several.
- You know what that is and why it matters to bibliophiles. I know why it matters to some people. To me, a book is a book. It has the same words in it. All books should be read, however much money they’re worth.
- You tweet, post, blog, or talk about books every day. Oh yes. Books are pretty literally my life, at least at the moment, which is probably quite sad, but whatever.
- You have a “favorite” literary prize. I do now: the Tournament of Books over at the Morning News.
- And you read the winners of that prize every year. Not yet!
- You’ve recorded every book you’ve ever read and what you thought of it. I’ve rated every book I’ve read (or can remember reading, anyway) over at Booklikes.
- You have a designated reading nook in your home. Not particularly.
- You have a literary-themed T-shirt, bag, tattoo, or item of home dĂ©cor. I have a t-shirt from the Library of Congress that says “I cannot live without books”. #truth
- You gave your pet a literary name. My cat’s called Minerva, after Professor McGonagall. I wanted to call her Crookshanks, but my parents wouldn’t let me.
- You make literary references and puns nobody else understands. Yes…it amuses me. Oh gods, that makes me sound super patronising, doesn’t it?
- You’re a stickler for spelling and grammar, even when you’re just texting. Personally, I like spelling things right, but I can’t be bothered to call other people out on it if it’s just a text or a Facebook message.Â
- You’ve given books as gifts for every occasion: birthdays, Valentine’s Day, graduations, Tuesdays… Yes, I will admit this happily.
- Whenever someone asks what your favorite book is, your brain goes into overdrive and you can’t choose just one. You end up naming twelve books. No, I always say The Lord of the Rings, which either ends the conversation completely or sends it into overdrive.
- You love the smell of books. LOVE the smell of new books. Old books are a bit musty and eurgh, though.
- You’ve binge-read an entire series or an author’s whole oeuvre in just a few days. No, I don’t use ebooks or live near bookshops, so this hasn’t really been an option.
- You’ve actually felt your heart rate go up while reading an incredible book. I’m not sure this has ever actually happened.
- When you turn the last page of a good book, you feel as if you’ve finally come up for air and returned from a great adventure. Yes 🙂
The English Student 
1. You currently own more than 20 books.
Obviously
2. You currently own more than 50 books.
Really? Add a zero, please.
3. You currently own more than 100 books.
…
4. You amassed so many books you switched to an ereader
EMPHATICALLY NO. Except from possibly for two short months of my life that I’m not proud of.
5. You read so much you have a ton of books AND an ereader.
I suppose technically yes, but NO IN SPIRIT!
6. You have a book-organization system no one else understands.
It’s not that it’s impenetrable, just no-one’s tried to understand it.
7. You’re currently reading more than one book.
No.
8. You read every single day.
Fourteen out of fifteen.
9. You’re reading a book right now, as you’re taking this book nerd quiz.
No. I feel this would be impractical.
10. Your essentials for leaving the house: wallet, phone, keys, and a book.
Unfortunately not, as men don’t get handbags, and pockets are too small. Any trip that’s significant enough to take a bag with me though…
11. You’ve pulled an all-nighter reading a book.
Until about 4am, I think. So no. Sleeping is nice.
12. You did not regret it for a second and would do it again.
Not true.
13. You’ve figured out how to incorporate books into your workout.
Workout? Workout? What is this thing? Can’t I read instead?
14. You’ve declined invitations to social activities in order to stay home and read.
Yes.
15. You view vacation time as “catch up on reading” time.
It’s not “catch-up-on-reading” time, just “do-lots-of-reading” time.
16. You’ve sat in a bathtub full of tepid water with prune-y skin because you were engrossed in a book.
Yes. I have several pruney paperbacks due to bath-reading malfunctions. ALthough it’s rarely tepid. I am a master of fine plug-and-hot-tap control.
17. You’ve missed your stop on the bus or the train because you were engrossed in a book.
Yes. Also missed junctions on motorways because I’ve been too much into an audio story. Even when I’ve set my GPS device to shout at me a mile before. In Darth Vader’s voice.
18. You’ve almost tripped over a pothole, sat on a bench with wet paint, walked into a telephone pole, or narrowly avoided other calamities because you were engrossed in a book.
I’ve done all those things, but for once I don’t think books were involved.
19. You’ve laughed out loud in public while reading a book.
Yes.
20. You’ve cried in public while reading a book (it’s okay, we won’t tell).
Not in public, I don’t think.
21. You’re the one everyone goes to for book recommendations.
Maybe to a few people. Although I give them out to the rest anyway.
22. You take your role in recommending books very seriously and worry about what books your friends would enjoy.
I hope so, although I suspect that I just worry about what I think it would be good for them to read.
23. Once you recommend a book to a friend, you keep bugging them about it.
Yes.
24. If your friend doesn’t like the book you recommended, you’re heartbroken.
Slightly.
25. And you judge them. A little bit.
Slightly.
26. In fact, whenever you and a friend disagree about a book you secretly wonder what is wrong with them.
Slightly. All these “slightly”s may be slight underrepresentations.
27. You’ve vowed to convert a nonreader into a reader.
Several times.
28. And you’ve succeeded.
Once. Although it was rather a hollow victory as he bought an e-reader.
29. You’ve attended book readings, launches, and signings.
No, not really. I’d rather just read it myself, I think. In fact, preferring being at home reading to the activity at hand is probably the biggest reason why I don’t go out to do things.
30. You own several signed books.
A few.
31. You would recognize your favorite authors on the street
Some of them.
32. In fact, you have.
Not my favourite ones. Although I have seen authors on the street a couple of times.
33. If you could have dinner with anybody in the world, you’d choose your favorite writer.
Unfortunately I would have to choose a favourite writer first. No, I think I’d choose some evil dictator person, then I can convince him to be slightly less evil, then I’ve got all my altruism points for life sorted.
34. You own a first-edition book.
Several.
35. You know what that is and why it matters to bibliophiles.
Of course!
36. You tweet, post, blog, or talk about books every day.
I talk about books about every other day, at least during term-time.
37. You have a “favorite” literary prize.
Not really.
38. And you read the winners of that prize every year.
See above.
39. You’ve recorded every book you’ve ever read and what you thought of it.
Recorded every book I’ve ever read, yes. Only recorded what I thought of it since the start of last year.
40. You have a designated reading nook in your home.
My preferred place is, of course, in the library, however I’m often told I’m too far away from the rest of the household, so I often resort to the corner of the family room whence the television can’t be seen. (I have trouble reading with television visible).
41. You have a literary-themed T-shirt, bag, tattoo, or item of home décor.
Yes. I have statues of Gandalf and Arwen in my room. And a poster of the whole of the Hobbit written out in very tiny text. Also a painting of a ship in my library that is only there because I imagine it looks like that painting of the Dawn Treader.
42. You gave your pet a literary name.
My dog is called “Spock”. There are books about Star Trek!
43. You make literary references and puns nobody else understands.
Yes.
44. You’re a stickler for spelling and grammar, even when you’re just texting.
Of course.
45. You’ve given books as gifts for every occasion: birthdays, Valentine’s Day, graduations, Tuesdays…
Indeed. Every gift is an opportunity to improve my friends.
46. Whenever someone asks what your favorite book is, your brain goes into overdrive and you can’t choose just one. You end up naming twelve books.
Yes.
47. You love the smell of books.
It’s incredible! Particularly dry old books and very new books. There’s a dark era in the middle.
48. You’ve binge-read an entire series or an author’s whole oeuvre in just a few days.
Maybe a month or so. This is due to not living near bookshops so having to wait for the internet to provide.
49. You’ve actually felt your heart rate go up while reading an incredible book.
Yes. If I’m on an exciting bit when the time comes to turn off my light and go to sleep, I carry on going until a more relaxed bit so that I won’t be trying to get to sleep while like that.
50. When you turn the last page of a good book, you feel as if you’ve finally come up for air and returned from a great adventure.
Of course! Generally followed by checking whether there’s a next in the series/something else by the author/ordering those/generally reading about what other people thought. I’m a selfish internet consumer who reads other people’s thoughts but never post my own (until today, apparently).
I got 30. You got 28. This means I win. Also, yay at the new blog-location! Commenting has got a lot easier; last time I did this it never actually appeared!
The Circumlocutor
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I maintain that it’s not actually a competition.
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