“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.”
You’ve got to hand it to the Coronation Street scriptwriters. The show’s been going for 50 years and you’d think it would have exhausted every possible storyline. But no. Heroically, the writers continue to boldly go where suspension of disbelief has never gone before.
(Yes, I know that’s a split infinitive.)
So we have the husband-beater. “Go to the doctor,” says her husband. “No-one will know. That’s what doctors are for.” Um, no, Tyrone. Doctors are for making you better.
And Tracy, who locks old men in their bedrooms. “I’m not feeling very well, otherwise I would insult you.” Sound familiar? That’s because Regan uses that exact excuse in King Lear: “Lady, I am not well, else I would answer from a full-flowing stomach.” Shakespeare in Coronation Street: who would have thought it?
Ryan the druggie, who a) is not Ryan and b) steals money from his mother’s purse and thinks she won’t notice. “I’ll buy the drinks”, says he, to forestall her opening her purse. What was the point of stealing the money in the first place? These days, a couple of pints will cost you at least £6. If he’s given all the money to the drugs dealer, where’s he got £6 from?
I could go on. But I won’t. It’s amusing, but it’s not real life.